A Glimpse of Sarah J Avery, My Favorite Ancestor

Please note:  this blog is a sequential narrative.  To start at the beginning, click on "Blog Archive" on the right and select the entry at the very bottom "Jennie Louise Van Buren...or was she?" or click here.

Buffalo, NY, 1870
Image in Public Domain

I say that Sarah J. is my ancestor, but she isn't really. She played an important role in Jennie Louise (Lucy or Lucia J) Sly Van Buren's life, even raising Jennie in her teens, but I am not descended from Sarah. Jennie was my 2nd great-grandmother, and Sarah was her maternal aunt. However, I know more about Sarah than I do about most of my direct ancestors, including Jennie and Jennie's mom, Mary. Her story is unforgettable, and think it explains a lot about the generations that followed.

The Van Buren connection is what set me on this genealogic road of discovery to begin with. The family myth was that Jennie was adopted by President Martin Van Buren after her parents died. The real mystery is: how could that myth have survived all the way to 2014 when it was debunked?

I think Jennie was a master storyteller, and she may have learned that skill from her aunt Sarah. When I started researching this part of my family, I made a list of what I knew about Jennie. Here it is, from the 3rd blog post in this series:

• adopted by Martin Van Buren
• was a hostess for the Van Buren family
• biological father may have been blind
• biological father's last name may have been Sly, Sligh, or Sleigh
• biological mother died when Jennie was young
• Jennie married my 2nd great-grandfather, Arthur Tappan Ham, sometime before 1880 (when their son, George Walter Ham, was born)
• Jennie may have been born in New York, Illinois, Missouri, Michigan, Ohio, or Wisconsin
• The Ham family always thought that Arthur had married beneath him
• Jennie went to live with distant relatives, the Van Burens, after her mother's death
• Jennie and Arthur may have been married in Buffalo, NY
• Jennie's mother's maiden name may have been Avery

Here is the list now, updated with what we know: 

• Jennie was not adopted by Martin Van Buren. 
• Jennie very well may have been a hostess, but not for the Martin Van Buren family. She was probably a hostess at Sarah and James Van Buren's boarding house in Buffalo, NY.
• Jennie's father was indeed blind.
• Jennie's father's name was Benjamin F. Sly.
• Jennie's mother did not die when Jennie was young. When Jennie was 19, her mother may have married someone named John Newell/Nuell in Cherokee, Kansas.
• Jennie married Arthur Tappan Ham in 1877.
• We still don't know where Jennie was born, but we have narrowed it down to NY or IL.
• The Ham family always thought that Arthur had married beneath him.
• Jennie went to live with her aunt Sarah J. Avery Van Buren and her husband James in Buffalo, NY, in the 1870s. Jennie's mother was still alive then.
• Jennie and Arthur may have been married in Buffalo, NY.
• Jennie's mother's maiden name was Avery.

I find the 4th clue from the bottom, "The Ham family always thought that Arthur had married beneath him" quite intriguing, and I think this perception is how the Martin Van Buren myth started. 

When Jennie and Arthur married in 1877, they moved to Arthur's hometown, Harveysburg, in rural southwestern Ohio.

Harveysburg, Warren County, Ohio, year unknown
In author's private collection

Arthur Tappan Ham
in author's private collection

Jennie Louise Sly Van Buren Ham
in author's private collection

The Hams were a prominent family in Harveysburg. Arthur's great-grandfather, Rhoden Ham, moved to Ohio in 1815 and was one of the first residents of the area. The Ham family had lived there ever since.

Historical marker in Harveysburg, Ohio, mentioning Rhoden Ham, my 5th great-grandfather
in author's private collection

When Arthur married Jennie and brought her to Harveysburg from the big city of Buffalo, I imagine she was met with some skepticism. Jennie was surely determined to prove that Arthur had not married beneath him. I can just hear the conversation back in 1877:

Ham relative: "Your last name is Van Buren. Huh."

Jennie: "Yes."

Ham relative: "Are you related to President Van Buren?"

Jennie, desperate to elevate her status and gain sympathy: "Yes. He adopted me after my parents died."

We know from family letters that Jennie was "difficult," "possibly insane," and "the old battle axe." So this hypothetical attention-seeking behavior does not seem far-fetched. President Van Buren had been dead for only 15 years in 1877 and was also from New York, so the story may have seemed plausible to country folk in Ohio. I don't know if the residents of Harveysburg were impressed with Jennie's supposed adopted lineage. But the story stayed alive until 2014. That is definitely impressive.

So why did the Hams think Arthur had married beneath him? I do not think any of them ever met Jennie's real parents, Mary and Benjamin. However, I know Arthur met Jennie's aunt Sarah and uncle James Van Buren in Buffalo in 1877, before whisking her off to Ohio. 

1877 was five years before Sarah would start an infamous business, and seven years before she would be the center of a major scandal in Buffalo. When Arthur met Sarah and James, they were 43 and 67, respectively. James was a merchant, well respected, and a former elected local official. If Sarah was just a happily married boarding house owner who had welcomed - even adopted - her "orphaned" niece, then why the bad impression of the family? What Arthur probably did not know, but may have sensed, is that Sarah already had a colorful past by 1877. She was on her third marriage and had convinced her current husband James to pay for extensive renovations to the boarding house while also putting the house in her name. There was much more to Sarah than met the eye. 

From Arthur's many letters in our family collection, we know that he was a sensitive and observant man. My guess is that he sensed there was something off with Sarah. Once he and Jennie left Buffalo, they never looked back.